Am I Good Enough?

In October 2016, Elder J. Devn Cornish gave the talk "Am I Good Enough? Will I make It?" and a little while ago I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament meeting about it.

This is a question I think we all tend to ask ourselves, I know I certainly have. Elder Cornish said:
"As with my own experience, [people] often ask, “Am I good enough as a person?” or “Will I really make it to the celestial kingdom?” Of course, there is no such thing as “being good enough.” None of us could ever “earn” or “deserve” our salvation, but it is normal to wonder if we are acceptable before the Lord, which is how I understand these questions."

This is a topic that is very close to my heart. In 2013 I was diagnosed with something called 'perfectionism', for those who don't know what perfectionism is, it can be summed up in a great article called Anxiety and Anxiety Disorders released by LDS Family Services in March 2017 and it says:

"Perfectionism can be functional and helpful when used as a tool to improve and grow. However, two common irrational beliefs that create anxiety are “People will look down on me if I make a mistake” and “I’m less worthwhile when I fail.” These beliefs limit our use of mistakes to teach us and ignore the fact that we have great worth as sons and daughters of God."

Perfectionism led me to think that I was not good enough, I would create these crazy high expectations for myself or have this constant feeling of there being something more I could do to be better, when in fact I was doing the best I could and there wasn't any more I could do and so I was unable to achieve this invisible and unrealistic goal. This led me to feel like a failure and that I was not good enough. Over time and with help, I learned ways to overcome those feelings and thoughts and learned what it actually meant to be perfect.

I was determined to change before my mission because I was told that if I could not master these things before I left, I would end up going home early. My mission was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Especially in the beginning, being a new and inexperienced missionary that wanted to be Like Ammon just a few weeks in. With these desires, I soon fell apart and begun to feel those feelings of not being good enough, but it was my first Zone Training Meeting that changed all of that. My Zone Leader was exactly what I needed to help me to see that the Lord is proud of me and that as long as I'm doing my best, that is all he asks for.

Elder Cornish said "All the Lord expects of us is to try, but you have to really try! ... "really trying means doing the best we can, recognising where we need to improve and then trying again. By repeatedly doing this, we come closer and closer to the Lord, we feel His spirit more and more, and we receive more of His grace, or help"

So what is actually required of us? What do we need to do to "be good enough"?

I've learned that as we put the Lord first, everything else works out. Not only that but in comparison to everything the Lord has done for us, He really requires so little.

All He needs from us is to keep the commandments, which to some may seem like a daunting task, but as we take it step by step, practice does not make perfect, but it does make progress! One of my favourite scriptures about this is found in Mosiah 2:41 "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

I know that every time I feel that I am lacking, I turn to the Lord and ask, what more can I do? I go in expecting a brand new answer to do something spectacular and different! But my answer is always found in the basic principles of the gospel, in the basic daily things we need to constantly be doing to come closer to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. 

But remember, that our best is different every day, and because the Lord knows us so well, he is aware of that and knows what our best is from day to day. We're not perfect and of course, we fall short at times but it is "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes, and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." - Alma 37:6

But the worst thing we can do is compare ourselves to others, which unfortunately is one of the easiest things we can do. We are all individual for a reason, we all have amazing things we can each achieve. If we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, it will get us nowhere. "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle". We all have our own paths to talk, and no one besides the Lord really knows what each of us is going through, what personal trails or triumphs we are facing and achieving.

Elder Cornish said "Please, my beloved brothers and sisters, we must stop comparing ourselves to others. We torture ourselves needlessly by competing and comparing. We falsely judge our self-worth by the things we do or don’t have and by the opinions of others. If we must compare, let us compare how we were in the past to how we are today—and even to how we want to be in the future. The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us. Please sincerely ask Him what He thinks of you. He will love and correct but never discourage us; that is Satan’s trick."

I feel that this is where the Atonement takes centre stage, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." - Ether 12:27

Jesus Christ wants to help us, He is right there with his arms out waiting for us to come, he shows us our weaknesses so that when we are humble enough to want to change and ask for help, He can help us become who He needs us to be and who he knows we can become, step by step. Just think and reflect on all the strength the Lord has given you, how he has helped you become greater than anything you could possibly do on your own...

Sister Chieko Okazaki said "He's not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don't need a Savior. He came to save His people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief".

Repentance is not only a means to a remission of sins; but a means to change, to become better. Preach my gospel says that "Repentance includes forming a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world" to me that means we can always be changing and evolving to be the best versions of ourselves we can be.

Let me be direct and clear. The answers to the questions “Am I good enough?” and “Will I make it?” are “Yes! You are going to be good enough” and “Yes, you are going to make it as long as you keep repenting and do not rationalize or rebel.” The God of heaven is not heartless and looking for reasons to put us down or cast us out. He is our perfectly loving Father, who yearns more than anything else to have all of His children come back home and live with Him as families forever. He gave His Only Begotten Son that we might not perish, but have everlasting life! Please believe, and please take hope and comfort from, this eternal truth. Our Heavenly Father intends for us to make it! That is His work and His glory.

You are enough, you are enough as a mother, wife, father, husband, teacher, student, sister, daughter, brother, son and most importantly a child of God. You are enough. Keep on keeping on and smile, because you are unique, you are loved, you have incredible potential and you are so beautiful in Gods eyes. 

Love, Jennadene

Not Today, Not Ever Satan

Let's take a trip back to before we came to earth. Our Father in Heaven presented a plan, we would be born, receive bodies, and live our lives to prepare to live with God again. This was essential so that we could learn, grow and become like Him. Of course, we wouldn't be perfect, we would sometimes fall short and make mistakes, we needed a Saviour.  In Abraham 3:27-28 it says "And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first... And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him."

Then it got a little hairy, in Revelation 12 we read about a war that took place in heaven, the second being Lucifer was cast out and became Satan. Who is he? Well, the bible dictionary says "Satan, also called the adversary or the devil, is the enemy of righteousness and those who seek to follow God. He is a spirit son of God who was once an angel “in authority in the presence of God” (D&C 76:25; see also Isaiah 14:12; D&C 76:26–27). But in the premortal Council in Heaven, Lucifer, as Satan was then called, rebelled against Heavenly Father and the plan of salvation... Satan persuaded “a third part of the hosts of heaven” to turn away from the Father (D&C 29:36). As a result of this rebellion, Satan and his followers were cut off from God’s presence and denied the blessing of receiving a physical body (see Revelation 12:9). They were also denied the opportunity to receive any inheritance in a kingdom of glory."

I know that we are all children of God, and so once was Satan. Before all of the drama, we lived with him, we spent time with him and he knows us. Perhaps not as well as our Saviour (as he performed the atonement and knows how to succour us in all things). But who knows how long we spent with him before the war in heaven. Because of what happened, Satan and his followers tempt us as part of our experience in mortality. He wants us to be "miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27), and so he tries to lead us away from righteousness. He knows our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. For some, the idea of toxic substances like drugs and alcohol addiction or pornography is not tempting whatsoever. So he tricks us in other ways, such as self-doubt, worthlessness or feeling stuck in a rut. He is the father of lies, confusion and contention.

Although trials and negativity are essential to our growth, as we would not know exquisite joy if it were not for sorrow (Alma 36:20-21). We must not let it linger any longer than needed. We must not let Satan have control of us, so to bind us down and hold us captive.

Our Loving Father in Heaven does not want us to feel these things, he wants us to feel peace, happiness, accomplishment, positivity, potential, love, strength and so much more!

"Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.
But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God."
- Moroni 7:12-13

Sometimes it is hard to see the subtle influences of Satan. I frequently look back and realise that something that happened because Satan was trying to stop or postpone something incredible yet to happen. I always found his influence was strongest when I was on the path that Heavenly Father has set for me. Why? Because Satan too knows what we are capable of, and will do anything to stop us from reaching our greatest potential. 

In Christ, all things are possible, including ridding ourselves of Satans influence. As we remember who we are, what has been done for us [the Atonement], and what we are capable of, we will weaken Satans influence over us and draw nearer to our Saviour. It's not always easy, and it takes work to build an armour of protection. But it comes back to the basics, of prayer, scripture study, positive media, church attendance, temple attendance and as we do the things that will help us walk daily with the Saviour, we will be protected and Satan will then quake when we wake up in the morning, falling  on our knees as we begin our day with prayer, to protect us from the adversary and say "Oh no, she's/he's awake!". 

You are loved, you are capable of so much, do not let Satan stand in your way or drag you from the best you can be. Stand firm and say "Not today, not ever Satan" and stand shoulder to shoulder with the Lord. 

Love, Jennadene 

xo

Wading Through Tribulation

With the end of January, I feel like I have accomplished so much! However, it wasn't all easy sailing. Its been a tough start to the year and I've recently been thinking a lot about tribulations and Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ's love for us.

While reading The Book of Mormon in Mosiah, there is a lot about this topic from the experiences of those lives we read about and I have felt so comforted by all of it. The book of Mosiah holds some of my favourite scriptures. One of which is my motto for this year (found in Mosiah 8:18). However, while studying recently I came across this little gem that changed the way I see tribulation immensely.

"Nevertheless, after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God. 

My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more" - Mosiah 27:28-29

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love words. I find one way of effectively studying the scriptures  is to pay attention to single words because it can change the way you see the whole passage. In this situation, the words "wading" and "snatch" caught my attention.

wade verb

gerund or present participle: wading

1. walk with effort through water or another liquid or viscous substance.

snatch verb

1. quickly seize (something) in a rude or eager way.

When I think of trials, it's a hard task, something difficult, a hard time or test we go through. To think of it as wading through a 'viscous substance' makes complete sense. But as hard as those moments are when we are ready when we have learned our lesson or completed the task, The Lord in His love and mercy will snatch us out of that trial. He does not want us to go through any more than absolutely necessary for whatever reason. In the hard times of my life, when I have been brought to the point of asking "why?". I am reminded that I know there is a reason, and sometimes we want to know the answer now when that is simply not meant to be. However in days, weeks, months sometimes even years later, we can look back and understand the grand tapestry of Gods plan for all of us and how it all fits in the picture.

I'm reminded of Greg Olsen, an LDS artist's most recent painting. As God's children, we are great in His eyes. We are greater than all of His other creations, and if the Saviour can take the time to feed and play with the sparrows. Of course, He is going to be there for us, to heal, to rescue, to comfort and to guide us, to snatch us out of the "everlasting fire" we may be wading through at that time. In those times of trouble it can be hard to remember that He himself went through all of these things so that He in His mercy would know how to succor us.

"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, ... if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son [or daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good....The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" - Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-8

Sometimes it is not our time to be completely rescued, sometimes we need to hold on a little longer, a little tighter, however, like the people in Mosiah 24:14-15, He will make our burdens light and we will be given the strength to carry them, in the hope that we can testify of His love, grace and mercy. That we can then be willing to submit cheerfully to the will of the Lord as hard as that can sometimes be. He loves us and is there for us in ways we can even fatham. 

If you are wading through tribulation, or even if you're not. Remember, you are loved, so much more than you could ever comphrend by the people around you and most importantly, your Saviour and also your Father in Heaven. Keep on keeping on. There is always light to be found, even in the darkest of places (did I just quote Harry Potter?...).

Stay strong.

Love, 

Jennadene xo