Am I Good Enough?

In October 2016, Elder J. Devn Cornish gave the talk "Am I Good Enough? Will I make It?" and a little while ago I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament meeting about it.

This is a question I think we all tend to ask ourselves, I know I certainly have. Elder Cornish said:
"As with my own experience, [people] often ask, “Am I good enough as a person?” or “Will I really make it to the celestial kingdom?” Of course, there is no such thing as “being good enough.” None of us could ever “earn” or “deserve” our salvation, but it is normal to wonder if we are acceptable before the Lord, which is how I understand these questions."

This is a topic that is very close to my heart. In 2013 I was diagnosed with something called 'perfectionism', for those who don't know what perfectionism is, it can be summed up in a great article called Anxiety and Anxiety Disorders released by LDS Family Services in March 2017 and it says:

"Perfectionism can be functional and helpful when used as a tool to improve and grow. However, two common irrational beliefs that create anxiety are “People will look down on me if I make a mistake” and “I’m less worthwhile when I fail.” These beliefs limit our use of mistakes to teach us and ignore the fact that we have great worth as sons and daughters of God."

Perfectionism led me to think that I was not good enough, I would create these crazy high expectations for myself or have this constant feeling of there being something more I could do to be better, when in fact I was doing the best I could and there wasn't any more I could do and so I was unable to achieve this invisible and unrealistic goal. This led me to feel like a failure and that I was not good enough. Over time and with help, I learned ways to overcome those feelings and thoughts and learned what it actually meant to be perfect.

I was determined to change before my mission because I was told that if I could not master these things before I left, I would end up going home early. My mission was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Especially in the beginning, being a new and inexperienced missionary that wanted to be Like Ammon just a few weeks in. With these desires, I soon fell apart and begun to feel those feelings of not being good enough, but it was my first Zone Training Meeting that changed all of that. My Zone Leader was exactly what I needed to help me to see that the Lord is proud of me and that as long as I'm doing my best, that is all he asks for.

Elder Cornish said "All the Lord expects of us is to try, but you have to really try! ... "really trying means doing the best we can, recognising where we need to improve and then trying again. By repeatedly doing this, we come closer and closer to the Lord, we feel His spirit more and more, and we receive more of His grace, or help"

So what is actually required of us? What do we need to do to "be good enough"?

I've learned that as we put the Lord first, everything else works out. Not only that but in comparison to everything the Lord has done for us, He really requires so little.

All He needs from us is to keep the commandments, which to some may seem like a daunting task, but as we take it step by step, practice does not make perfect, but it does make progress! One of my favourite scriptures about this is found in Mosiah 2:41 "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

I know that every time I feel that I am lacking, I turn to the Lord and ask, what more can I do? I go in expecting a brand new answer to do something spectacular and different! But my answer is always found in the basic principles of the gospel, in the basic daily things we need to constantly be doing to come closer to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. 

But remember, that our best is different every day, and because the Lord knows us so well, he is aware of that and knows what our best is from day to day. We're not perfect and of course, we fall short at times but it is "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes, and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." - Alma 37:6

But the worst thing we can do is compare ourselves to others, which unfortunately is one of the easiest things we can do. We are all individual for a reason, we all have amazing things we can each achieve. If we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, it will get us nowhere. "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle". We all have our own paths to talk, and no one besides the Lord really knows what each of us is going through, what personal trails or triumphs we are facing and achieving.

Elder Cornish said "Please, my beloved brothers and sisters, we must stop comparing ourselves to others. We torture ourselves needlessly by competing and comparing. We falsely judge our self-worth by the things we do or don’t have and by the opinions of others. If we must compare, let us compare how we were in the past to how we are today—and even to how we want to be in the future. The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us. Please sincerely ask Him what He thinks of you. He will love and correct but never discourage us; that is Satan’s trick."

I feel that this is where the Atonement takes centre stage, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." - Ether 12:27

Jesus Christ wants to help us, He is right there with his arms out waiting for us to come, he shows us our weaknesses so that when we are humble enough to want to change and ask for help, He can help us become who He needs us to be and who he knows we can become, step by step. Just think and reflect on all the strength the Lord has given you, how he has helped you become greater than anything you could possibly do on your own...

Sister Chieko Okazaki said "He's not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don't need a Savior. He came to save His people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief".

Repentance is not only a means to a remission of sins; but a means to change, to become better. Preach my gospel says that "Repentance includes forming a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world" to me that means we can always be changing and evolving to be the best versions of ourselves we can be.

Let me be direct and clear. The answers to the questions “Am I good enough?” and “Will I make it?” are “Yes! You are going to be good enough” and “Yes, you are going to make it as long as you keep repenting and do not rationalize or rebel.” The God of heaven is not heartless and looking for reasons to put us down or cast us out. He is our perfectly loving Father, who yearns more than anything else to have all of His children come back home and live with Him as families forever. He gave His Only Begotten Son that we might not perish, but have everlasting life! Please believe, and please take hope and comfort from, this eternal truth. Our Heavenly Father intends for us to make it! That is His work and His glory.

You are enough, you are enough as a mother, wife, father, husband, teacher, student, sister, daughter, brother, son and most importantly a child of God. You are enough. Keep on keeping on and smile, because you are unique, you are loved, you have incredible potential and you are so beautiful in Gods eyes. 

Love, Jennadene

Not Today, Not Ever Satan

Let's take a trip back to before we came to earth. Our Father in Heaven presented a plan, we would be born, receive bodies, and live our lives to prepare to live with God again. This was essential so that we could learn, grow and become like Him. Of course, we wouldn't be perfect, we would sometimes fall short and make mistakes, we needed a Saviour.  In Abraham 3:27-28 it says "And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first... And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him."

Then it got a little hairy, in Revelation 12 we read about a war that took place in heaven, the second being Lucifer was cast out and became Satan. Who is he? Well, the bible dictionary says "Satan, also called the adversary or the devil, is the enemy of righteousness and those who seek to follow God. He is a spirit son of God who was once an angel “in authority in the presence of God” (D&C 76:25; see also Isaiah 14:12; D&C 76:26–27). But in the premortal Council in Heaven, Lucifer, as Satan was then called, rebelled against Heavenly Father and the plan of salvation... Satan persuaded “a third part of the hosts of heaven” to turn away from the Father (D&C 29:36). As a result of this rebellion, Satan and his followers were cut off from God’s presence and denied the blessing of receiving a physical body (see Revelation 12:9). They were also denied the opportunity to receive any inheritance in a kingdom of glory."

I know that we are all children of God, and so once was Satan. Before all of the drama, we lived with him, we spent time with him and he knows us. Perhaps not as well as our Saviour (as he performed the atonement and knows how to succour us in all things). But who knows how long we spent with him before the war in heaven. Because of what happened, Satan and his followers tempt us as part of our experience in mortality. He wants us to be "miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27), and so he tries to lead us away from righteousness. He knows our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. For some, the idea of toxic substances like drugs and alcohol addiction or pornography is not tempting whatsoever. So he tricks us in other ways, such as self-doubt, worthlessness or feeling stuck in a rut. He is the father of lies, confusion and contention.

Although trials and negativity are essential to our growth, as we would not know exquisite joy if it were not for sorrow (Alma 36:20-21). We must not let it linger any longer than needed. We must not let Satan have control of us, so to bind us down and hold us captive.

Our Loving Father in Heaven does not want us to feel these things, he wants us to feel peace, happiness, accomplishment, positivity, potential, love, strength and so much more!

"Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.
But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God."
- Moroni 7:12-13

Sometimes it is hard to see the subtle influences of Satan. I frequently look back and realise that something that happened because Satan was trying to stop or postpone something incredible yet to happen. I always found his influence was strongest when I was on the path that Heavenly Father has set for me. Why? Because Satan too knows what we are capable of, and will do anything to stop us from reaching our greatest potential. 

In Christ, all things are possible, including ridding ourselves of Satans influence. As we remember who we are, what has been done for us [the Atonement], and what we are capable of, we will weaken Satans influence over us and draw nearer to our Saviour. It's not always easy, and it takes work to build an armour of protection. But it comes back to the basics, of prayer, scripture study, positive media, church attendance, temple attendance and as we do the things that will help us walk daily with the Saviour, we will be protected and Satan will then quake when we wake up in the morning, falling  on our knees as we begin our day with prayer, to protect us from the adversary and say "Oh no, she's/he's awake!". 

You are loved, you are capable of so much, do not let Satan stand in your way or drag you from the best you can be. Stand firm and say "Not today, not ever Satan" and stand shoulder to shoulder with the Lord. 

Love, Jennadene 

xo

Wading Through Tribulation

With the end of January, I feel like I have accomplished so much! However, it wasn't all easy sailing. Its been a tough start to the year and I've recently been thinking a lot about tribulations and Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ's love for us.

While reading The Book of Mormon in Mosiah, there is a lot about this topic from the experiences of those lives we read about and I have felt so comforted by all of it. The book of Mosiah holds some of my favourite scriptures. One of which is my motto for this year (found in Mosiah 8:18). However, while studying recently I came across this little gem that changed the way I see tribulation immensely.

"Nevertheless, after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God. 

My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more" - Mosiah 27:28-29

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love words. I find one way of effectively studying the scriptures  is to pay attention to single words because it can change the way you see the whole passage. In this situation, the words "wading" and "snatch" caught my attention.

wade verb

gerund or present participle: wading

1. walk with effort through water or another liquid or viscous substance.

snatch verb

1. quickly seize (something) in a rude or eager way.

When I think of trials, it's a hard task, something difficult, a hard time or test we go through. To think of it as wading through a 'viscous substance' makes complete sense. But as hard as those moments are when we are ready when we have learned our lesson or completed the task, The Lord in His love and mercy will snatch us out of that trial. He does not want us to go through any more than absolutely necessary for whatever reason. In the hard times of my life, when I have been brought to the point of asking "why?". I am reminded that I know there is a reason, and sometimes we want to know the answer now when that is simply not meant to be. However in days, weeks, months sometimes even years later, we can look back and understand the grand tapestry of Gods plan for all of us and how it all fits in the picture.

I'm reminded of Greg Olsen, an LDS artist's most recent painting. As God's children, we are great in His eyes. We are greater than all of His other creations, and if the Saviour can take the time to feed and play with the sparrows. Of course, He is going to be there for us, to heal, to rescue, to comfort and to guide us, to snatch us out of the "everlasting fire" we may be wading through at that time. In those times of trouble it can be hard to remember that He himself went through all of these things so that He in His mercy would know how to succor us.

"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, ... if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son [or daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good....The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" - Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-8

Sometimes it is not our time to be completely rescued, sometimes we need to hold on a little longer, a little tighter, however, like the people in Mosiah 24:14-15, He will make our burdens light and we will be given the strength to carry them, in the hope that we can testify of His love, grace and mercy. That we can then be willing to submit cheerfully to the will of the Lord as hard as that can sometimes be. He loves us and is there for us in ways we can even fatham. 

If you are wading through tribulation, or even if you're not. Remember, you are loved, so much more than you could ever comphrend by the people around you and most importantly, your Saviour and also your Father in Heaven. Keep on keeping on. There is always light to be found, even in the darkest of places (did I just quote Harry Potter?...).

Stay strong.

Love, 

Jennadene xo

The Book of Mormon, a Text Book for Life

It has been my feeling, for as long as I have had a testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon, that it is a Text Book for our lives. That in it's pages we can find the answers to all of life's questions if we look hard enough, and study prayerfully the words contained therein.

The importance of The Book of Mormon was talked about in October 2017 General Conference. The one talk that stood out, above the rest was President Russell M. Nelson's (The Book of Mormon: What Would Your Life Be without it?). He asked three questions that have since changed the way I see this incredible book.

"First, what would your life be like without the Book of Mormon? 
Second, what would you not know? 
And third, what would you not have?"

These questions struck my heart with so much force, and really making me ponder how much the Book of Mormon really means to me. Now, I could go on for hours answering these questions but for now I will simply say that I would not be the person I am today, had it not been for the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon helped me see light, when I was in the darkest of places. It has helped me countless times, when I felt like there was little or no hope. When I gained my testimony of the Book of Mormon it kick started a lot of things in my life that would not have been possible without it. For example, receiving the blessings of the Temple, going on my mission to Temple Square (Salt Lake City, Utah) and all the amazing experiences and miracles witnessed there, being sealed in the Temple with my husband for time and all eternity, which lead to the wonderful blessing I now have to be a mother of our gorgeous little girl. All of these experiences in themselves have changed my life, and it all comes back to the leap of faith I took to read the Book of Mormon and pray to know it is true (Moroni 10:4-5). 

Before having my little girl, I started reading the Book of Mormon again, but this time searching for a guide for the task ahead of me, parenting. My eyes were opened and it was like I was reading it for the first time again. I've heard many people wish that a textbook came with their babies and well I have found that Heavenly Father has given us one. 

Disclaimer, The Book of Mormon may not tell me exactly how to calm my crying baby in the middle of the night, what to do when nothing will console her, when I have done everything I can possibly think of and she still won't stop or go back to sleep. But I have found comfort in the examples of valiant parents in the Book of Mormon, and received guidance in knowing what to do, how to look at my situation or simply the strength to get through. (1 Nephi 17:1-2)

But most importantly it's a textbook that helps us learn of our Saviour Jesus Christ, in becoming like him, and of the Atonement He performed for each of us. So that we can return to live with Him and our Loving Father in Heaven again. 

I would not be the person I am, and have the things I have without the Book of Mormon. When I realised this, it helped me understand that I need to be better about reading it, about sharing my testimony of it, and that I have no excuse to not be reading it everyday.  I owe a lot of what I have in my life to the amazing teachings contained in this incredible book. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father loves us enough to give us another Testament of His Son, Jesus Christ that works hand in hand with the Bible.

So if you're struggling to read it, or just feeling a little lost or down, or maybe you just need a reminder of how awesome it is. Ask yourself the questions that President Nelson asked us all.
"First, what would your life be like without the Book of Mormon? Second, what would you not know? And third, what would you not have?".  And if you really think about it, just like me, I'm sure you'll be amazed with what you come up with.

Love, Jenn

2018, The Year I Step Out of My Comfort Zone

Like a lot pf people, this past month I have been reflecting on what I want to do, and who I want to become this year. For a long time now I've wanted to be able to be that "mummy lifestyle blogger". I have all of these ideas, I start writing, I read it over, and then get too scared to make it public. I've tried so many times, and for some reason just can't press that "publish" button.

This year I want to change that. 2018 is year I step out of my comfort zone. This year is all about trying new things, learning new talents, and building on ones I already have.

For example, I never thought I could pull off wearing a jumpsuit/romper type outfit. I've wanted to, but thought "I'm a stay at home mum, where would I possibly wear such a thing?" Then someone dear to me suggested wearing them to upcoming weddings and on date nights with hubby. Immediate excitement crashed over me and before I knew it I was ordering some online and anxiously waiting for them to arrive. Key word, anxiously. I knew that the key, would to wear them with confidence. So when they arrived, I tried them on and I FELT AMAZING. To you, this may seem silly, but for me it was that first step to the journey out of my comfort zone.

I want to do things that I've never had the confidence to do. This year I have many projects underway which I'm excited to share with you as they unfold. I realise that in order to be successful in my endeavours this year, I need to step out of my comfort zone, have confidence and faith in myself, and just like my jumpsuit (a simple thing), I just gotta rock it and do it with confidence.

My motto for this year is a scripture found in Mosiah 8:18 "Thus God has provided a means that man, through faith, might work mighty miracles; therefore he becometh a great benefit to his fellow beings"

"Courage is the mastery of fear-- not the absence of fear."
Fortune Cookie (2014)

I know that Heavenly Father has provided means and inspiration for me to do the things I want to accomplish this year, that as I have faith and put in the necessary effort, things will work out. For me, even if one person benefits from what I have to share, then it was all worth it. I know that as I take these steps out of my comfort zone, that they in themselves, will be little miracles in my life and I'm excited to share them with you.

In my blog/videos I want to be real with you, I want to talk about real things, if it be motherhood, marriage, or just life in general. My hope is, that I can share these things in a way to lift up your hearts and possibly inspire something within you, or even just make you laugh or say "Amen Sister".

If you have any ideas or recommendations of things I should talk about, I'm more than happy to take them in. I look forward to sharing my adventures with you and hope you enjoy the ride too!

Love, Jenn